Back to reality
Me
megamom82

Well, I guess it's time to enter the food battle once again. Uuugggghhhh I'm having mixed emotions about it. On one hand I'm hopeful and excited to lose weight. I've gone out grocery shopping and semi organized a plan to follow. I've added the appropriate apps to my iTouch, and will be adding some very light exercise to the routine. Fingers crossed, I will maintain my motivation and have some successful weight loss and finally get out of this disgustingly overweight rut I've been stuck in the last 4 years! I'm lucky though, I got a pretty good "jump start" as I am already 25 lbs lighter than I was when I found out I was pregnant. I have about 120 more lbs that ideally I would like to lose this time.


On the other hand I'm so nervous. I've boarded this roller coaster before... and well, look at me, I was obviously not successful. I lost 90lbs 10 years ago... HOLY SHIT that was 10 years ago!!! Well almost I guess. Anyhow I kept most of it off for 4 years and then it started to creep back on. I would lose some every once in a while but always gain back more. I'm so scared I'll fall back into that pattern. I just want to be at a size where the first thing that someone thinks about me is NOT "wow she's big". To lose 120 more lbs is a HUGE goal, it sounds like too much! I feel defeated even just admitting that.

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(no subject)
Me
megamom82

Just LOVES when certain people who show up to stay at my home with only a few hours notice, continue to NOT follow rules that I I've had in place for over a year!!! Please send me patience and the ability to bite my tongue! If we move this is one thing I VERY much look forward to NOT having to deal with ever again!!!!!!!!!!!

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Should be an interesting day!
Me
megamom82
My staff called in sick... So yay! 11 days away from Due Date and I'm on my own with 6 kids!  Lord help me.

Have to plan another eviction strategy.
Me
megamom82


Cookies and pineapple did not work this time. I guess she's not qite ready yet :(   Oh well. 

Jeff leaves in 2.5 hours :'( 

The sooner she comes, the sooner Jeff will be home for a week!!

I did however, pick up one of those cute headbands with the flower on it so I could take cute naked pictures of her when she arrives :)  Jeff even helped match the flower and headband with me:) 

He's installing our carseat right now.  Its getting close! I just hate not knowing when... every minute, every twinge and pain makes me think "i it time yet?". 

So now I'll just sit in a corner, rocking back and forth, chanting some baby mantra like a crazy person...



Let the games begin.
Me
megamom82
At 37.5 week pregnant and Jeff coming home tonight, I decided I would make some "labor cookies" to see if I might be able to entice this little girl out.  They actually tasted pretty good!  I had them with pineapple and Red Raspberry Leaf tea.  I really don't think it will work, but it doesn't hurt to try I guess...

I really hate waiting these last few weeks!!  I only have 27 days MAX, but each minute feels like an eternity!

My poor poor ankle.
Me
megamom82
Sprained ankle...

Not fun...

Even less fun when you're by yourself, 37 weeks pregnant and have a 22 month old...

FML

Special time!
Me
megamom82
Awe. I just had to come on a record/share this special moment I just had.

I've been getting more and more uncomfortable, and anxious about baby girl's arrival. (Only 23 more days until EDD which means 33 more days MAXIMUM, but would like it to be as soon as possible obviously)  Landon has been keeping me on my toes and going through the adjustment of not having Dad home.  He seems to be a little bit more irritable right now, but then again he could just be feeding off me. 

So, at 1pm I decide it is NAP time. We grab his blankie and his new BFF the kitty who is in costume as a duck.  Then we head down to his room, and he gets upset when I try to put him down.  I figure "what the heck, I might as well rock him for a couple minutes" so we settle into the rocking chair. 

He normally gets rocked by Daddy at night before bed, or lately me, and usually only for less than 5 minutes while he squirms and asks "what's that" about everything in his room. 

I start rocking him and he puts his head against my cheek, and I wrap his blankie around him while e nuzzles kitty into his chest.  It was so nice.  For a minute I even thanked Baby Girl for not coming early just so I could have these last few moments with Landon as my "only".  Out of the corner of my eye I could see his eyelids getting heavier and heavier until he fell asleep.  I sat there and enjoyed it for a few more minutes.  (Landon rarely EVER falls asleep on us anymore). 

When I went to put him into his crib he stirred. Panicked for .5 seconds then settled in as I tucked the blankets around him.  I looked at him and smiled, and he smiled back as he closed his eyes and went back to sleep.   It was a perfect moment!
Tags:

YAY!!
Me
megamom82
Um, so I just got back from my ultrasound and have fabulous news!!

Landon measured 5 weeks ahead at this point, and baby girl armstrong only measures 5 DAYS ahead!!!

I am so excited right now I can't even contain myself. I MIGHT have close to an average sized baby, and a good shot at her being smaller that Landon's 9lb 12oz.

Doing the happy dance!!
Tags:

The waiting game...
Me
megamom82


I think it's funny that I can have so much patience in some situations, but absolutely NONE in others.

With children and people I have been told I have the patience of a Saint.  I can hold it together and keep calm in so many situations.  Kids cry and fuss... no problem, I'm golden.  People try my patience and I give them the benefit of the doubt and almost always second and third chances. 

But when it comes to waiting for answers to questions that I have... I am a basketcase!!  Right now I am waiting for a BIG answer to a BIG question and it is eating me up! I'm having headaches, anxiety, and irritability.  Why can't I just be patient and think to myself  "I'll know when the time is right".  I'm guessing it all has to do with control issues.

I used to think I was one of the most laid back people ever (maybe I was laid back, who knows).  Now I find myself really needing to be in control of my environment and my life.  I don't like it when people 'spring' things on me last minute, especially if I already have a plan of how that minute was supposed to go. I don't like when people disturb my environment, (Mother in Law & Brother in Law or anyone else who moves stuff, or leaves unwanted things for me to deal with in MY environment).  I like being impulsive... when I make the decision to be.  I like taking chances... when I choose to take them. 

Where did this care-free happy-go-lucky person that I used to be go?  Was I ever that way, or am I just kidding myself? 

Anyways, the answer to this question will be answered by the end of the day, so I'm trying to maintain my sanity for just another 7.5 hours maximum.  Then I can deal with the outcome and RE-GAIN CONTROL

 



Why am I so defensive?
Me
megamom82

Ok maybe not all the time, but when I meet someone new I always expect the worst.

Today, it was my practicum student. Within 5 minutes of meeting her, I was thinking "man this is going to be one long semester".  The thing is, I don't really think she did anything wrong.  She came in and asked me questions about my center (which she is supposed to do), and I felt like she was giving me the 3rd degree, and judging me.

The thing is, I think that really it was just me being insecure and defensive. Why do I do that?  People tell me I rock all the time. I know that when it comes to kids, I KNOW my stuff. I am a great ECE, and (when feeling on top of my game) I am an awesome caregiver. I also know as a business owner, when I realized I was unable to be my usual rockin self, I hired someone who could do the rocking for me. So basically I take care of my business. Then why do I always think I'm being judged? AND why do I think that it's always a negative conclusion?

Anyways after the rest of my day I decided, she isn't so bad. Actually she might be alright... AND I just learned that instead of having her for 2 months and leaving right before baby, she'll be here until the end of April. That is fantastic news because then my staff will have someone to help her two days a week while I'm out of comish surrendering my body to birth and living with a newborn.

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