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Doing good!!

Well I don't know what happened (maybe the post-pregnancy state I'm in) but I'm feeling really productive.

My babies are amazing! Annalisa is a wonderful baby, and pretty easy on me. Landon has come through the first part of the adjustment, and is doing great at sharing my attention and helping me care for "baby". I couldn't have asked for better kids!

I really thought that I wouldn't handle this situation very well. Especially since I was having such a rough time emotionally before Anna's birth and the first couple weeks afterwards. I think that getting busier has really helped me to focus and attain some sort of accomplishment. We have our routine now, and in some ways the tasks actually seem a little easier without Jeff around. Things are almost always where I left them, and there are way fewer surprises in the mornings. No broken promises to discover. Jeff would always commit to doing certain night-time tasks and then only actually DO them 50-60% of the time which meant for a cranky morning for me when I would discover the things that had been forgotten....again.

So I'm trying to concentrate on ME a bit more. The food thing is hard for me but I'm hoping if I keep on fighting then I'll get there. I have to remember that even when I fuck up, I have to get back up... and you can always get back up! We've been taking the daycare out for more walks which is good for the kids and for me!

Having Crystal (my staff) is the best thing I could have done! I think having her is probably a big part of why I am doing so good. She has helped make this whole transition so much easier. I can always rely on her, and she always brightens up my day. It really helps that the kids enjoy her too and that her whole childcare philosophy meshes with my own. It also really helps that we share a lot of the same view and are interested in similar things!

Jeff and I have decided that I may not move until September now. I think I like that idea. Then throughout the summer we'll go to Van once a month and Jeff will come home once a month!

I'm also finding the strength to reach out a bit! I'm tired of being a hermit and then being surprised that I don't have people around me as much as I would like. So I am going to make more of an effort to get involved. I'll have to be creative because I always have the kids with me, but I think I can do it!

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